I am noticing some uncharacteristic emotions and I think that it is caused by my HRT. I am noticing animosity towards my Ex-Wife that was never there before. I am working on controlling it and am pretty successful at it however some new levels are emerging. I will try to not go into many details as I sincerely and truly wish not to hurt her.
I do sincerely wish my Ex-wife the best. I wish her happiness and I wish her love and that she finds the one that makes her happy.
However I am thinking, “How dare you hit me and cheat on me. How dare you throw us away and not be honest!” And so much more. As well as thinking, “I drove in a tornado and the car was blown 10 ft in high winds to bring you food while you were working an all nighter. I redid my work schedule so you can sleep while I drive you 2 hours for class one way.”
Part of me will always love her. I can’t help but think of the time I took her in without notice to my parents when she got kicked out by her family when I pass the street her she grew up on.
I never wished her ill will and always want the best for her. Yet, my emotions are running high and I am dwelling on the past in ways I never did before.
Damn you hormones! I will endure this. It will lesson as my body settles and I must not find a coping skill for this.
Thank you for your time.