12/13/2018 – Tarot card draw

I was meditating with my Baseball tarot deck and I felt the need to draw a card. So I shuffled it then spread them out and let the energy draw the card.

I drew The Fool

Blog 47 – True story – An Ex, two subs and dinner

I am thinking of funny things that has happened to me in the BDSM world in the past and this one came up.

I remember with an Ex I was serving and we were hanging out with another Owned sub that was visiting. That Owned sub had orders from her Master that my ex had full power as long as no soft or hard limits were broken.

My ex was hungry and asked us what we wanted to eat.

The other sub and and I look at each other not caring much what we ate as we knew it would be tasty and healthy so we at the same time say, “I do not know what ever you are in the mood for is fine.

My ex shook her head saying, “I can never have two subs. To much work”

Sometimes the most mundane things can be awesome memories.

These kind of memories remind me to cherish what I have at the time so I can look back and laugh.

 

TG 27 – 21 weeks on hrt/Unsupervised supervised transition with my Endo

Good morning,

I saw my Endo today and he was pleased when I told him I am out to my family, friends, legal name change is official next month and that I am active in my college LGBT club as well as out to my college and in a transgender support group.

He upped my Spiro to 300mg from 200mg a day, My Estradiol is still 3mg a day and I am now on Propecia at 1mg a day.

That is great. However I have not had my  hormones levels was checked since 4/17/2013. 1st day of HRT was 5/23/2013. Next time I see my Endo is 2/13/2014. On 4/17/2013 my Total T was 267 and Fee T was 52.8

So I have been on HRT for 21 weeks and no blood test to check hormones since before I started. So I am doing hormones by a doctors prescription yet do not have the hormones levels checked as needed and now my Spiro is going up by 100mg a day to 300mg.

So I am a supervised unsupervised transition.

Blog 30 – I am a transsexual geek girl! I do not lose my geek card because I am trans.

I was on a transgender site and I posted in a thread asking what we were into and had this reply.

“Dude, you are not transitioning and if you think that you are a girl you lost your geek badge so let your balls drop or learn to knit.”

I had to log off to cool down and replied with, 

—
How can I lose my geek badge because my body is changing to meet who I really am? I have always been a geek gal. I have always had geekish passions.

MyGeek history

VenturaAnime Club 1996-1999
AnimeFansub VHS Distributor 1995-2002
Amatuer Voice Actor on the old aitenshi.nu forums from 1998-2001
Cosplayer from 1999-2004
Member of the Renaissance Faire reenactment group Pirates and Privateers in (2007 – 2008)
Member of the Renaissance Faire reenactment group, “La Orden de Santiago” from (2008 – 2009)
Sponsored into the Renaissance faire reenactment group, “Port of the Black Sail” (2013 – current)
Former Member of COSP ML & Cosplay.com (do not remember years)
Competitive Fighting game tournaments 1996-2002 and King of Fighters series and Capcom VS SNK 2
Former Videogame system owner of the Atari 2600, Atari Lynx, Jaguar w/ CD, NeoGeo MVS and CD, CDi, 3DO, NES, Famicom, Super Nintendo, Super Famicom, N64, Game cube, Wii, Game boy, Game boy pocket, Game boy color, SuperGame boy adapter, DS, 3DS, Sega Master system, Sega Mega Drive, SegaGenesis, Sega 32X, Sega Saturn, Dreamcast, Sega Game Gear, SegaNomad. US & Japanese, Turbo Grafx-16, Turbo Duo, Turbo Express,Microsoft Xbox & 360, Sony Playstation, Sony Playstation 2, Sony PSP w/ hacked firmware for classic game emulation.
Played,D&D, AD&D 2nd, GURPS, RIFTS, Battletech, Mechwarrior,Robotech pen and paper games.
Played Magic the Gathering from revised to 5th edition.
Played Buffy the Vampire Slayer CCG
Played Wyvern CCG
Played Hyborian Gates CCG
First SLR at 8 years old.
First time in a dark room 12 years old
Camera History is From Olympus OM-1 to the Nikon D200 to the Olympus E-500 to the Olympus E-1 to Canon 1D mkII to Olympus e510 to Nikon D3 to Olympus E-3 to the Olympus EP-3 to Pentax K-30 to Olympus OM-D EM-5.
IOC Club Rep for the Theatre Arts Club at Oxnard College
IOC Club Rep for the Vidiots of Oxnard College (Video production club)

-Renaissance Faires-
Ojai Renaissance Faire 2001-2010
Ojai Pirate Fest 2005-2010
Escondido Faire 2009
Big Bear Faire 2009
St. Louis Ren Faire 2010-2012
St. Louis Pirate Fest 2010-2011
Chatsworth Faire 2009
Renaissance Pleasure Faire of Southern California 1998,2001-2005
Ventura Italian Carnevale 2013

-Conventions-
Anime Expo 1993-19982000-2005
Fanime Con 2002
Ani-Magic 2002-2004
San Diego Comic-Con 2001-2009
Con-Tamination 2011
Project Comic-Con: The Sequel in 2010
C4: Central Coast Comic Con

—

I logged off and needed a shower.
Sincerely,
Cait

TG 26 – MtF Transition updates

Good evening everyone,

A lot has been going on and to make it easy I will bullet point this:

1. I filed for my legal name change.
2. I am legally divorced now.
3. I am out to my Brother, Sister, Mom and Dad.
4. I am out to all my friends.
5. I joined the college LGBTQ Club.
6. I came out to the Dean of Students, Teacher, School Nurse and my college counselor.
7. Going back to college as Caitlin in January.
8. I am on the process for gastric bypass (vertical sleeve).
9. Tomorrow (Monday 9/16/2013) I am coming out on my male facebook.
10. I am still on hormone replace therapy and super happy.
11. I went to my 1st convention as Caitlin and loved it.

TG 25 – I applied for my legal name change today

On 9/5/2013 I applied for my legal name change. As I am going back to college in January and going to get a degree or cert some time next year I want it in my prefered name.

I wanted my court date to be on halloween as that is a holiday to me however that was a no-go. So I set it for November 13th as I like that number and Friday the 13th is a favorite series of mine. So it also be a birthday so-to-speak at some point on Friday the 13th.

I came out to my film teacher I will be having and he is fine with it. Counselor appointment on Tuesday at college to discuss classes and will be coming out to her as well.

Blog 29 – Mental has is at it again

I last saw a Dr on May 30th. I saw this Dr. only once. I was told to make an appointment for 2 months out. When trying to make an appointment I was told, Sorry the doctor is full for the next 5 months” and to, “check back.”

Calling in at least once a week I get put on hold and never got past that.

I went in August 29th as I was in the area and they told me, “that the Doctor quit and I was assigned to another Doctor who already quit.” I am not currently assigned another Dr. and I am in limbo.

I said, “I was never told the Dr quit and that I had another.”

I was told, “It says here that you say him last month on the 17th.” I said, “no I didn’t. How can I see a doctor I didn’t know about?  I want to see where it says I saw him as you guys are billing the state for appointments I knew nothing about.”

The lady behind the counter said, “I never said you saw the doctor.” I replied back, “Yes, you did and even listed a date.”

So here I am and no meds. no help from Mental health and no doctor there. I am tired of them sending me to 3-5 doctors a year.

 

TG 24 – The fractured LGBT community

 

Why all the infighting? Why does a person state, “You know I’m right” when making an opinion? Who made them a spokesperson for the entire LGBT community? Why the division within our own? I honestly do not understand why we can’t band together. It’s as if you are not allowed to call bullshit on the crap that goes on yet we all talk about it. We talk about it over and over. People say we do not like it but in the next few days there is a post by the person that shows their own hypocrisy. 

In the end it is never right to attack a person on this and I have been attacked verbally many times. From, “If you like girls who do you want to chop off your dick?” to “you’re not a tranny. just confused” these from gay men.

 

From there I met lesbian who give me their number without asking for it and they say, “Do not call me until you have your bottom surgery.”

 

I have even known a trans-lady who’s life mission seems to be against trans-men and cis-men. Even most cis-women.

 

I understand that LGB are about your sexual attraction and the T is your gender identification however as a Trans-woman that infighting makes me sick.

I wish to go all the way with surgeries when I can afford them and I have no interest in men yet I am sometimes not welcomed by lesbians and gays want to interrogate me as to why I want to be a woman yet prefer women. The LGBT community sometimes make me sick.

 

We are our own worst enemy. The sooner we can put our differences aside the stronger as a whole we will be.

 

If I was not born with this, “broken appendage that leaks” a.k.a “the mistake” I would be more accepted as a cis-woman lesbian.

 

Being a transsexual lesbian makes it a lot harder and I get grief from a lot of lesbians. The BDSM community and even more so the Furry communities are more open to trans issues and acceptance.

 

I know women that are ostracized by their own lesbian community and called, “breeders” because their either had a child with a man by penetrative sex and not donated sperm. Does it matter if they found out who they really are later in life? Maybe they were goaded into marriage by family and societal pressures.

It is never okay to tear a person down or doubt  their sexual preference. It is never okay to rip into a person for having a gender identity that is not conforming to your or societal ideals. Ultimately It’s never okay to mock people as you will never truly know them

 

Sincerely,
Cait

 

Blog 28- Gastric Bypass Part 1

I just had my consultation for Gastric bypass doing the vertical sleeve route. I am seeing a Doctor that is covered by the Medi-cal in Ventura, CA and he was impressed when I came in with my medical binder that has the last 6 blood tests results. photos of my meals sizes and health facts from the packaging. I told him I am transgender and he knows my Endo who is overseeing my blood work and prescribing my hormones.

Being a plus size gal who is 5ft9 and 300 lobs is not fun so I am doing double blood work on the 12th. One set of blood work for my Endo and another for the gastric bypass Doctor. My motorcycle accident has limited a lot of my ability to exercise past walking which I do a couple times a day.

He will have the one doing the scheduling get back to me about the psych evaluation and seeing the nutritionist and if they give the green light I will be able to get the surgery.

My mom had Gastric bypass with a well known Doctor in Ventura however insurance reasons I am not able to use him.

I also know people that had the vertical sleeve and think that would be the best and when I made my case to the Doctor he said that he looked at the paper work before coming in to see me and that he was going to make that recommendation.

I hope all goes well.

Blog 27 – Working on eating better – cutting out salt and other crap

I am working on eating better so I bought some gluten free boneless chicken that was cage free, hormone free, gluten free and am making my own breading with flour and Mrs Dash.

 

Here are some pics.